


Not-So-Discreet Disruptions

by ShadeofGreen



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
Genre: F/M, First Dates, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 21:01:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29797824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadeofGreen/pseuds/ShadeofGreen
Summary: Josephine and Ike attempt to go on their very first date.The keyword here isattempt.
Relationships: Ike Anwhistle/Josephine Anwhistle, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Kudos: 3





	Not-So-Discreet Disruptions

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a Valentine Fic, but then I got writer block and worked on other things. So...*shrugs*

The Royal Gardens, once open only to those of the former Royal Family of [————] and their esteem guests from all over the world is now open to the general public since the year 19––. Despite the Royal Family of [————] being no more, the new owners opted to keep the garden’s former name. It’s a wonderful place to visit regardless if it was in-season or off season.

It’s a place Josephine went once before on a field trip. Their instructor wanted everyone to understand the different types of toxics. Josephine didn’t pay attention to what the tour guide was saying about the poisonous flowers in the pavilion though. Josephine was focusing her attention on something else.

Across from the man-made lake with sprouting fountains and lily pads is an iron gate with iron fences that are unclimbable. Various trees towers over the fence, with a few branches dangling out for visitors to touch or jump up to touch. Colorful flower bushes were poking out of the gaps, and from what she can tell from the distance is many ornate wooden benches that one could sit or read on. Even though families came and went through the gate, most people who visited there were couples who looked at one another as if their partner was their entire world.

Josephine told herself one day she’ll go back there with someone, and that day is together. She is at the Royal Gardens, on a first date with one Ike Anwhistle. The two are in section the map calls ‘The Lovely Lounge’, which is odd because it’s all outside. Josephine doesn’t care though. All she cares about is that their very first date has no disruptions.

Josephine fears disruptions due to overhearing some associates —Gregor, Hector, Jacques, Kit, and Olivia— are thinking about visiting the Royal Gardens as well. Even though it could be a coincidence, Josephine is convinced it’s on purpose. It’s Gregor in particular that has her worried. After all, she is dating his baby brother.

“Oh! Look at those flowers!” Ike runs towards the wild flowers, and bend downs to get a closer look at them. “It’s planted near the stream!”

Josephine walks over to Ike, and bends down as well. The blue flowers are small, with their petals looking similar to mouse’s ears. Their yellow center has a small honeybee on it.

“Hmm…the plaque here says these are true forget-me-nots. Sometimes they’re prefer to as water forget-me-nots as they grow near bodies of water, like a pond,” reads Josephine.

“Ooh! Forget-me-nots! How nice!” Ike stands back up to his feet, and smiles goofy at Josephine. “Did you know they stand for true love and fidelity in the language of flowers?”

Josephine closes her eyes and laugh. “No, I didn’t. I’m not interested in flowers symbolism unfortunately. Forget-me-nots seems like the perfect flower to give to someone you to your sweetheart. Why Isaac, I didn’t think yourself as an expert in this area of—”

She opens her eyes and raise an eyebrow. Ike is closing his eyes and standing still. While he isn’t puckering his lips, he still has his goofy smile on his face. Josephine quickly observes their surrounding area, and hums.

Josephine stands up, before quickly turning around behind her and beside here. She thought she hears movement from the tall wild flower bushes in the distance, but perhaps she’s imagining it. Josephine keeps her eyes out of the employee, who heads inside a garden that also doubles as one of the Royal Garden’s eating areas, The Fat Lady restaurant. Josephine wipes her hand across her forehead, and gives out a sigh of relief.

“Good! That means no one is watching!”

Josephine gently grabs hold of Ike’s shoulders. She then takes a deep breath in, and a deep breath out. It’s now or never! She slowly closes her eyes, and moves in closer to Ike’s face.

* * *

“Urg! Jo and Ike are going to kiss! How gross!” Gregor takes a crab side-step as he moves over to the right in the tall wild flower bushes.

“Will you just hurry up with your spying?” Jacques crab side-steps as well due to Gregor. Jacques then takes a quick look at his wristwatch. “The Fat Lady’s special today is crepes, and I want to order them as takeout. Jerome said the cream cheese and strawberry filling crepes—”

“~Oooh, _Jerome_.” Kit —crouching next to Jacques but is small enough to not need to side-step—places a hand on Jacques’ shoulder and smirks. “Did he successfully argued with you to try these crepes? We all know you don’t like crepes.”

“You know very well Jerome doesn’t like to argue,” says Jacques, narrowing his eyebrow. “He just convinced me to try it at least once. Jerome rightly pointed out I never eaten a crepe before in my life. It’s only fair for me to eat one and _then_ say I dislike them.”

“That doesn’t change anything.” Kit wiggles her eyebrows up and down and smirks at him.

“…Huh. You two talking about crepes got me realizing I’m hungry due to skipping out on breakfast.” Olivia, unlike the other three, is only bending down slightly. “I wonder if The Fat Lady sells any Italian food. I’m craving some Minestrone soup all of a sudden.”

“You guys, I think we should stop spying on Josephine and Ike.” Hector, who is only bending down slightly before, soon gets onto feet to where he’s fully crouching down. “I don’t feel comfortable lurking on their first date. We’re invading their privacy after all.”

“Well, you can leave anytime you want,” says Olivia, as she looks over the crouch over Jacques and Kit. “Even though this is all plan, no once forced you to come. But you’re going to miss out on something good.”

“Oh, like you wanted to come along as well!” Hector gives out a scoff. “You’re no better than me! Why are you interested in their first date anyway?”

“Ike asked Miranda —as Madame Lulu’s assistant— days ago if going to the Royal Gardens would be a good first date. Miranda told him it will, provided five sitting ducks don’t ruin it.”

“I don’t see any ducks though.” Hector looks around the area. “Just us…five…”

“Oh no. Oh no. _Oh no_.” Olivia quickly stands up. “I think Hector is right. We need to leave now. With the rate we’re going, this is just going to be a self-fulling prophecy. Being sitting ducks is not a good thing, you know.”

“But I want to watch!” Gregor clicks his tongue. “I need to make sure Ike is okay with Jo! Isn’t that the duty of an older brother?”

“Speaking as one older brother to another,” replies Jacques calmly. “It is, but this is not the proper way to do it. If I were in your position, I would be in a disguise and in their line of sight. The disguise shouldn’t stand out, but have you blending in. For instance, a few weeks ago I was wandering the streets as an ice cream seller with one eye and exaggerated sideburns. No one recognized me, and I got some good money out of it.”

“…Are you unwittingly admitting **you’re** the ice cream seller that ruined my date with Olaf!?” Kit then tackles Jacques without mercy.

* * *

Josephine continues to lean in closer to Ike, and then stops. She feels a soft finger on her lips. She opens her eyes and sees Ike frowning, and his eyes are narrow. He moves his head towards the direction of the tall wild flower bushes. Josephine turns her head, and sees that the bushes are shaking, with a few familiar voices coming out of it.

“Well, that’s just great.” Josephine gives out a sigh. “So much for our perfect first kiss.”

“I say they need to get punish. We can do one of two things.” Ike puts one finger up in the air. “One: we can publicly call out the lurkers and hope passing by pedestrians hear and take them out by surprise. Two: _we_ can take them out by surprise. What shall you pick, Josephine?”

“Hmm…” Josephine rubs her chins, and then snaps her fingers. “We take them out by surprise!”

“Wonderful choice.” Ike gives out an open hand, and smiles. “Care to take another stroll?”

“Why yes!” Josephine giggles, and grabs Ike’s hand. “I certainly would like that very much!”


End file.
